i really wonder, what's going on in the world nowadays? whenever i visit people's blogs, tumblr, facebook profiles, etc, i see so many people who 'feel like dying', 'want to run away from everything', 'wish they had never been born', and the like. hey, what's that for?

i mean, it's okay to let out your troubles when you're really suffocating from it; it's no good to bottle everything up. but why give up on life? why regret? it's great to be alive, isn't it? to be able to run around on the field, eat with friends, endure boredom in class together.

"yeah sure, you can think that because your life is wonderful. not like mine. life sucks, okay?" i think that's how some people might respond.

but think about it. being alive itself is a privilege. remember Aya? she got SCA, right? but she wanted to live so much, despite her inabilities, people looking down on her and teasing her, etc. God brought all of us onto this world with His own hands. He could have chosen not to create you at all. but why did he bring all of us out here, onto this temporary home?

the answer is simple. it's because He loves you. He loves all of us, ever-since i-don't-know-how-long-ago. that's why he decided to let us come out here and live. and it's because He loves us that He puts us through all these things in life. He loves us. He won't do anything to hurt us.

"then why? why am i in so much pain?" you ask. it's something He wants you to learn from. to learn to become strong from these events. to smile and live on, and encourage those around you to do the same. there's no way He'd hurt you intentionally. if you learn to live with it and stay happy, you won't feel hurt at all. you'll thank Him for the lesson, for being able to encourage those around you. isn't that so?

i can't remember if i had mentioned in my previous posts, but i borrowed a book from eunice titled 'Martyrs'. the book is made up of many stories of Christians who had died for Jesus. as well as some bible phrases and quotes from famous people here and there. in one of the stories i read last night, the person who died said something like this in court, "It is Man who chooses their religion, but Christians are chosen by God." and then, just like how Aya had wondered, "病気はなぜわたしを選んだんだろう？"(Just why did the disease choose me?), i thought, "Why did God choose me to follow Him? Why me, out of so many people He had created?"

i tried thinking of the answer. was it because He loved me more? NO! He loves all of us equally. was it because He picked randomly? NO! He has reasons and plans for everything. i kept thinking and thinking, but no answer came. but i think i've finally understood.

it's because there are so many people around me that want to give up, that are suffering alone, that can't take it anymore. He wants me to encourage them. He wants me to spread the good news around, that they may find something to rejoice in everyday of their lives, even if their problem isn't solved yet. He wants me to do something... that counts for eternity.

so, to everyone out there reading this, and are in pain; just remember that God loves you. if you trust in Jesus, everything will just work out somehow. it really will. rejoice, for all His promises won't let go of you!

keep fighting on and don't give up. even if the tears you've cried have long exceeded one litre, keep on going. live on. always live on. Jesus is there for you.