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Emo-day.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 8:21 PM

haiz. was emo-ing alot today... in fact, i've been getting more and more emo nowadays... i wonder how i really see things now... yesterday, i was just asking myself, is it that i'm really optimistic, or is it that i feel nothing towards it at all? and i guess i sort of found my answer already... i just wished i could run from everything. i wished i could just die that instant, and return home to God in heaven...

but life goes on... i shall try and return to the optimistic me i was, before it all started. before i found out how cruel things were. before i could feel all this pain in me. before tears started flowing down. and i wish i found God's love when i was much, much younger. then maybe i wouldn't have felt like crying during class today, cuz His love for me would have covered all the pain up already. and it could save me from all those heartbreaks since primary school. then maybe i would have been able to love God so much more than now... but i know this takes time. i trust that God has the patience to wait for me to someday spread my wings as an eaglet, and love Him really, really dearly and never run dry.

for a start, did our acc play today... it was pretty fun... but cruel at the same time... then... ahh. the day went on like it should. art was nice... but it was the last lesson... doing music next semester... but i love music too.

went for auditions after sch... it was supposed to be at 2pm, so i skipped lunch for it... but the teachers were very late... so, in the end, just ate one doughnut before going for japanese class... best part is i skipped breakfast and recess too. grah. while waiting, saw adalric and his friends, and i was like thinking, was he taking part?!?! but after meeting him outside lt2 and chatting abit, found out he wasn't... but then he found out i auditioned... so it was kinda awkward... as for my audition, tgtr with sheryl... it was pretty ok, and it went well until the last part... ahh. i screwed up. i feel like such a total failure. can't study, can't do sports, can't perform anything, can't be a friend that's welcomed, can't be a good partner, can't be someone significant in the life of others, can't tell if someone's truthful or not, can't do anything good at all. the only thing i can do now, is to seek my heavenly Father, and love Him more than anything else. that's the one and only thing i can do. but i think it's good enough for me.

i feel so cheated and like such a failure.
the one and only.
CHARIS.♥(umm no this picture isn't me, but it's nice.:D)
Child of God, Princess Warrior in Sophia, Destiny Impact.♥
A part of the super duper loved and great following: PCPS 6Aces'09, PCPSVB, DHS 2Ferillan'11, DHS 4Dubstep'13, DHSVB.♥
16 this year.
There are many things that I'm really no good in. I'm not perfect; but my Creator is.♥

yell.

beloved ones.
AKH
Alethea
Amaris
Andy
Anthea
Bernice Leong
Bernice Liau
Charmaine
Cherie onee-chan(blogger)
Cherie onee-chan(tumblr)
Cheryl
Crystal
Darryl
Deng Lao Shi sensei
Elissa
Eunice
Fiona
Georgiana
Gillian
Hong Xia
Jessie
Jia Wei
Jing Ning&Esther
Jonathan
Katrina
Leah KHR nakama!
Mei Fei
Mei Xian
Ming Yue
Mr Koh sensei
Pearl
Sheryl
Sophia Beloved Princess Warriors
Terrence
Wan Ting
Wei Ping
Wen Qi
Xiew Fan
Ying Ying KHR nakama!
Yi Xuan
Yong Xin
Zi Jun

the voice of my heart.

MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com Tracks:

1: Tenshi ni Fureta yo![Touched by an Angel!] by Houkago Tea Time(K-ON)

2: Konayuki[Powdered Snow] by Remioromen

3: U & I by Houkago Tea Time(K-ON)

4: Akane [Madder *not sure about this one.] by Heidi

5: No, Thank You! by Houkago Tea Time(K-ON)

I SPAM J-POP~! I still like some Chinese and English songs though.:P

credits
This blogskin is proudly presented to you by Anna May with the graphic from The Fading Night. Self-editting credits to careee.